So I got you super hype about the new blog series #BIGemotions. I let you know that a new post would be up every Thursday morning and even asked you to subscribe so the blog could be delivered right to your inbox. Except Thursday came and there was no post, Friday came and still not post and now Saturday night after multiple insta stories and a new pic I am finally releasing my first #BIGemotions blog post.
Why the delay you ask. Well, honestly you may have never been on the “feeling” end of this #BIGemotions topic. If that’s the case let me be the first to ask you…how does it feel to be ghosted?!
Ghosting: The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication
Haunting: When someone who ghosted you in the past randomly likes one of your old selfies or follows you on Instagram just to remind you that they exist
Slow Fade: When someone who initially seemed super into you slowly backs away from your fire conversation and barely makes an effort to keep in touch.
Mooning: When someone unknowingly shuts down communication by disabling your conversation. This term refers to the do not disturb half-moon icon
Cushioning: When someone in a committed relationship keeps a few “cushion” baes around just in case their main ship sinks
(These definitions are brought to you by snapchat “discover”…guys I get all of my info from snapchat “discover” it’s my version of the news…stop judging me)
I don’t know about you but I personally get REAL emotional when it comes to relationship trends. I will be honest and say I have ghosted someone before and will definitely admit to slow fading in the past and I feel terrible for it!!!
Navigating relationships can be hard though…borderline stressful! I know you feel me on that! Don’t sit there and shame me like you haven’t cushioned someone before because you weren’t 100% percent sure that it was going to work…and YES keeping your tinder active after defining your relationship is a form of cushioning.
It’s rough when you get ghosted or timid bae slowly fades away but I personally think the worst is when you get benched.
Benching: Putting someone on the back burner and communicating just enough to keep them interested without actually putting any real effort because the bencher wants to keep their options open
Please don’t text me because
no one else answered, to announce that you are newly single or simply bored! That is rude AF! And that goes for friends too. Just because your boyfriend is out of town doesn’t mean I’m going to drop everything to hang out with you! Just in case you forgot you’ve actually ignored me the past 2 months.
Don’t get me started on work place relationships!
Mooning in the work place: GROUP PROJECTS. You all discuss who is going to do what yet somehow you end up doing everything and no one is replying to your emails or texts. But when it’s time to turn everything in their phones get reactivated…BYE!
Ghosting in the work place: If I had a dollar for every influencer/blogger/entrepreneur that has told me about a company/person that has randomly disappeared in the middle of discussing a collaboration or deal I wouldn’t need any more collaborations.
I recently had a photographer ghost me. We discussed what was expected from each of us and had a fabulous photo shoot! When it came time for me to get the pictures she DISAPPEARED! Except she really didn’t disappear because she is still posting on her pages and is still taking on projects. I have tried contacting her multiples times and via multiple mediums and no reply. It is so frustrating and unprofessional to say the least.
(INSERT LONG OVER EXAGGERATED SIGHHH)
Now that we can clearly see how these relationship trends can really pull out those #BIGemotions they real question is…can one be UNGHOSTABLE and if so HOWWW?!?!?!
Am I the issue?
Seeing as I’m the common denominator that makes the most sense…right…
But really though I think it comes down to you in most cases. If you are the ghoster maybe those communication skills could use a little tune up. And if you’re always being ghosted…you know who to call…GHOST BUSTERS! Seriously though grab your girls/guys and make a night of it! Analyze those relationship and try to find the pattern…and if you crack the code please help the rest of us out!
In the meantime I’ll work on my communication skills and I will always remember that in the end yes my feelings may matter the most but that doesn’t mean their feelings don’t matter at all. As always breaking out of comfort zones and rising to the occasion!
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